My Ode to Working at Pinnacle

I came up with this at work today while our data base was down again. Its much funnier if you know what everything is but I'm kinda proud of it! The parenthesis are added for understanding purposes!

I come in every morning to a dark office space, and wonder “Why the heck cant we turn on some lights in this place?”
I count down the hours from eight until five, thinking of things I feel I’m deprived.
A quick visit from Lewis (my boss) to see how we’re all doing, but we all know deep inside he has ten projects brewing,
As I open Great Plains (our data base) that works half the time, I’m constantly reminded I’ve got a deadline!
We’ve only got a short time to complete data entry and if not we know all too well we’ll all pay the penalty.
If it’s not done on time the calls will begin, to which it seems there is never an end.
“Where is my sale and where is my money? Don’t you know how important I am to this company?”
We calm their poor nerves and comfort their sadness, but that’s just a portion of what adds to the madness.
From coworkers cell phones that EVERY day ring on high, to customers that constantly call in to whine.
Shell creation endures the privilege of flirting *ahem* working with sales rep and techs, and can consequently be heard saying, “What a pain in the neck!”
Distraught customers call to report a battery is dead, while tech support patiently listens with a hand on their head.
They inform the customer replacing the battery will only take a sec, but they’re quickly interrupted, “Of course, you need a tech.”
Collections calls customers to discuss mounting issues, and attempt to resolve the accounts that are past due.
As customers explain with excuses galore, the collection team states, “We cant wait anymore.”
Customer Service handles everything and worse, from changing account passwords to customers that curse.
The Retention department plays a very special part; the negotiations they make could be considered a work of art.
Customers wanting to cancel are not few, but Retention quickly explains, “This is more beneficial for you.”
At times some may wonder, “We work to what end?”, but Chris Munday (our CEO) always reminds, “On our way to One-hundred Thousand!” (accounts)