Naturally this is the perfect opportunity for a little brother to exact some deserved revenge on an older sister for childhood injustices.
Over the last year and a half I have been in Houston, I have entertained myself by not only moving the spoons, but moving them to entirely different locations in the house. One time I put her spoons in Jello.
Believing that I was untouchable, I have continued to mess with the spoons. However, Last week Chiara exacted her revenge. She bought my daughter a new bedtime book that we read EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. A book that she knows I absolutely hate. Allow me to explain why.
The book is called "Love You forever"
Most people who have read this book know where I am going with this. Some of you love this book and will disagree. Either way, I have to get this off my chest.
The book starts out very sweetly. It's a mother telling her baby son how she'll love him forever.
Hence the title.
She goes through the usual trials that all parents experience, but through it all, she still loves her child.
Awwww.
As he grows a little older, she still takes the time to go in his room each night and cuddle him.
Isn't that sweet?
She just loves her little boy so much that she sneaks in each night to tell him that she'll love him forever.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
You read up to this part and it just seems like this will be a very nice book.
What a second....what the heck?
At this point the book takes a pretty hard left turn for the creepy.
The mother continues to sneak into her son's room when he's a TEENAGER.
A TEENAGER.
She sneaks in, picks up her TEENAGE son, and cradles him.
Yeah.
But still, you could probably get past this. She just really loves her son and she likes to cuddle him while he sleeps.
I guess that's not THAT creepy.
Besides, just a few years later, the young boy becomes a man and moves away from home. Her boy grown up and living on the other side of town, the mother has to say goodbye to the child she loves. Time to let the boy spread his wings!
Or not.
Yes, that is a picture of the mother sitting in her son's bed and rocking him back and forth.
Her grown son.
Holy.
Crap.
And yes, that's an open window and a ladder in the background.
Apparently, mothers are willing to do anything for their children.
Including breaking and entering.
What is wrong with this freakin' book?
This is like the prequel for the movie "Psycho".
This stuff is creepy.
But as weird as that last picture is, there's one that messes me up even worse.
This is a picture of the mother driving across town in the middle of the night with a ladder strapped to the roof of her car.
Think about that.
I...
I just...
There are no words.
This little old lady takes the time to strap a 50 lb ladder to the roof of her car in the middle of the night and then drives to her sons house to break in and rock him in his sleep.
She even ties a red cloth on the back of the ladder.
Wouldn't want to break traffic laws on your way to break into your son's house to possibly scar him forever.
I just can't get this picture out of my head. Long after Hailey goes to bed, it just lingers there in my mind.
This stuff is frightening.
You'd think this book wouldn't be very popular.
Heavens no!
People LOVE this dang book.
What the hell is wrong with people?
This book is one page away from being an episode of CSI.
And yet, this is one of the most highly recommended children's books in the world.
I think this is actually number 7 on the list.
Number 8 is The Silence of the Lambs.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
It puts the lotion on it's skin
Or else it gets the hose again.
Tonight as you fall asleep, try not to think about your elderly mother creeping in through your window and cradling your unconscious body.
Good luck getting to sleep.
Well, I have to go to my sister's house now. I'm going to melt those spoons into some obscene figurine.
9 comments:
I would be a little freaked out if your mother climbed in our window and rocked Mikie to sleep!
I never thought of it that way before. You've totally ruined this book for me now! :)
I agree....you have totally ruined this book. I love it and it was one of the first ones I bought for Mackenzie. Thanks A LOT!
Don't worry. Although "I'll Love my sons forever", I am not about to put a ladder on a plane to creep into their bedroom at night. Besides, I couldn't rock Jonny on my lap anyway.
Booooooooo I love this book! And I do realize that it is TOTALLY creepy that the old lady sneaks into her grown son's room to rock him while he sleeps! Messed up!! But I still love it! Bwah ha ha ha!
I think you're the only freak in the world who read that much into the book. I loved that book too. but now that you mention it like that...creepy is a good name for it.
Hahahahaha! Yeah, I don't particularly care for that book either. It is really creepy, but it's really funny that she bought it for you!
Love this book! Always have and always will. Does. Not creep me out but it is kinda funny seeing the story through someone elsewhere eyes.
Oh yeah! I've always been a bit touched by the bend from loving and endearing to the off the chart odd. The son does reciprocate at the end, but doesn't seem as creepy as the middle of the night, cross-town road trips.
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