I know a lot of people who have had children. Brothers and sisters, friends, and I'm pretty sure my parents fall into the category as well. But no one ever tells you what happens when living with a pregnant chick. Nope, they just leave you hanging.
Way to drop the ball people. Sheesh.
So I am learning this stuff first hand. Its kinda like learning how to ride a bike by off-roading one down a mountain. Lucky for us, I don't make any mistakes.
On an unrelated note, don't ever tell a pregnant person that they are over exaggerating and that it can't be that bad.
When living with a pregnant woman, many things change in your every day life. Dinner used to be a simple thing. Not so much anymore. For some reason I never seem to be hungry at the right time.
Your topics of conversation change from what movie do you want to see next, to lets watch one of these unbelievable disturbing birthing videos. Have you guys seen those? I am avoiding watching it like the plague.
Pregnant women lose their mind about the smallest things too. Like the other day I was making small talk and Cassie just lost it! I got home from school...
Cassie: Honey, can you bring me a drink.
Jonny: Sure thing.
Cassie: Why did you put it on the ground
Jonny: Come on, you can reach it.
Cassie: You're mean.
Jonny: Are you okay?
See that right there? That's a very important tactic when dealing with women. Sometimes you need to pretend to care. Basically, look concerned and then nod when their lips stop moving.
Kidding, kidding.
Cassie: No I'm not okay.
And nod.
Cassie: I don't like being this fat.
Cassie: It's not fair.
Jonny: Aww honey. You're not fat.
Cassie: *sniffle*
Cassie: Really?
Jonny: Well, not that fat.
And then she just lost it! I mean what the heck?!
One more thing.
Cassie and I have experienced a role reversal. I used to be the one who was hot all the time and Cassie was the one who had freezing toes that somehow always found their way under my butt.
Those were the good 'ol days.
Now, sitting next to her is like sitting next to the sun. Our apartment now stays at a comfortable -18 degrees. Let me put this into perspective.
Cassie
(disclaimer: picture does not depict actual Cassie size)
Jonny
12 comments:
Oh boy are you in for it! I am sure Wes could vouch for this when I say that if you think it is hard to live with a pregnant woman, wait until you are living with an infant and a post-partum woman...it only gets crazier! I am just telling you now so in the future you can't say nobody warned you! :)
Try living with a pregnant woman and a toddler who screams every two seconds because you wont let her play with the knife. As for dinner, I make Ashlyn choose dinner every night because I don't know what to make because I don't know what she wants to eat. Half the time when I am done cooking she does not want it and I have to then make PBJ. At least that is easy. I do have a lot of leftovers for my lunchs. You just have to love them.
I'll even add to this for him. He had me read this before he posted it and I got annoyed and made him change most of the "conversation" because it was not exactly what happened. Poor guy has a lot of patience with me. At least I can usually admit I am a mental case, but hey you squish your organs by shoving a basketball inside of you and then go live on the sun and tell me your not a little irrational at times!
Oh-I am with you Cassie-you have every right to be irrational-not only is there the squished organ/basketball thing, but the screwed up hormone thing. So, I go ahead, be crazy-we all do it...
Sorry to comment so much, but I thought I should tell you that I tagged you Cassie! Check it out: http://beckeeandwes.blogspot.com/2008/09/random-tag.html
Jonny all I have to say is that you are getting a straight shot to the celestial kingdom!!!
Both of you repeat after me.....
This too shall pass.
As soon as you see your tiny baby girl you will know it was all worth it. Most likely, even do it again!
Oh, and as a sidenote...Cassie, being related to her Aunt Betty could be a potentially dangerous thing. One night, close to the end of one of Betty's pregnancies she could not sleep. Her husband Kenny was sleeping, shall we say, "like a baby". Betty just ,snapped, stood up and with all her might lifted the mattress and dumped Kenny onto the floor.
Watch out!!
Seriously? In the 26 years of your life you have never seen a movie where there was a pregnant lady and the guy got in trouble for telling his wife she was fat? Really? That's an obvious. You deserve to get in trouble if you tell your wife she's fat...ever. Good luck with the temp thing. Get used to it. Wait until menopause...it's even more of an experience.
That last comment was by me by the way.
Marissa
I told my wife she was fat all the time, it was a real morale booster for her. She'd always tear up, just like when we got married. Have you had to go find fruit at 3:30 in the morning yet at an open grocery store because the grapes you already had weren't the right kind? When you have, let me know, and we can compare stories.
Haha, just wait until the birth. There's so much about that experience that no one ever tells you either! Have fun!!
Hey...write more. It is nearly over!!
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